Good relationships are not possible without good communication. And talking about sex isn't always easy - you risk rejection, embarrassment, or hurting a loved one's feelings. But with a little courage and some of these pointers, you can enter an exciting new phase in your sexual relationship.
 
Make time for sex. With so many demands on your time, it's easy to put the relationship on the back burner. Set aside some time to talk about your relationship, and don't try to do it when you're in a sexual setting.
Make sex talk a priority. Don't surprise your partner by saying, "I want to talk about sex now," but let him or her know that it's important for you both to sit down and talk. Don't try to cover other subjects when you finally do sit down, focus solely on sexual subjects.
Get comfortable with sex as a subject matter. It's easy to get tongue-tied when it gets down to actually expressing yourself in explicit language. Rehearse ahead of time, or read a self-help book so you can familiarize yourself with the language.
Know the issues, and be prepared. If you're feeling frustrated, try to narrow down what's bothering you so you can make specific requests. If you want something particular from your partner (a change in attitude or practice), try not to frame it as his or her fault, but as a request for something new.
Be direct and clear. By now you've probably discovered no one can intuit your needs all the time. If you want something, ask for it clearly. Rather than saying, "I want more foreplay," try, "If you could spend more time kissing me and massaging my inner things, it'll really turn me on."
6. Minimize the negative. Try not to criticize or cast blame. The best way to do this is to use "I" statements. Rather than saying "you don't know how to turn me on," try "I don't get aroused that way, why don't you try this way."
Be a good listener. This could be the hardest step of all! In addition to requiring that you hold your tongue now and then, you need to stay focused on what your partner is saying. One exercise therapists use is to have each partner reiterate what they believe they other partner is trying to say.
Use body language. While you're talking, remember that your body language can convey a huge amount of emotion - usually frustration and anger. Try to remain calm and as relaxed, while maintaing eye contact. Periodically touch your partner to remind him or her you're committed to working things out.
Allow for differences. Neither of you always has to be right! So expect that you'll each have different styles and expectations and try to keep the other person's point of view in mind when addressing your sexual concerns.
Negotiate. This step can unlock many a sexual stalemate. If you're willing to allow for differences, you're on the path to compromise. Be willing to consider alternatives to your requests or to negotiate a solution that will satisfy both of you.
Seek help. You can always seek professional help if you get in over your head. It can be a great relief to have an unbiased third party facilitating your conversation and keeping things solution-oriented.